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Online abuse – get help, report it!

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Navigating your child's contact with strangers online

Strangers who become friends. This normal experience is happening increasingly online. Child Focus notes that not all strangers online are dangerous and offers guidelines for online contact.
Teenage friends online

The internet and social media are ideal for communicating with others. Young people talk online mostly with persons they also know offline. Of course, you can also meet new people online through games, for example. It is important to note that not all strangers pose a risk to your child. 

Moreover, unpleasant experiences usually take place in an environment of acquaintances. Consequently, the common rule of “no contact with strangers” sends a wrong and unclear signal to children. Meeting new people is nice and important; this is no different for children and youngsters. On the contrary, they often open up to others very easily. As a parent you can certainly stimulate this and at the same time it is good to let children think critically about meetings with strangers, online and offline.

Make your child resilient by paying attention to these points:

  • On public platforms and games, choose a neutral pseudonym as a username. It should not refer to your child's first or family name, age or gender. A sexual username is not a good idea either.
  • Teach your child the 10-minute rule: only add someone online with whom you have already spoken offline for at least 10 minutes.
  • Don't share personal information (phone number, home address, school, age, bank information,...) with a stranger.  
  • Talk to a person you can trust in case of a difficult situation. If your child sometimes finds it difficult to discuss something with you as a parent, refer him to another person he/she can trust (a teacher or an organisation such as Child Focus).
  • Trust your gut feeling: if something seems too good to be true, it usually is. Encourage your child not to ignore this signal and seek help from a person he/she trusts.
  • Adjust privacy settings on every social media channel: this is how you choose what to share and with whom. Make the comparison to offline life. You can share a lot with people you know very well; to strangers, on the other hand, you don't tell your deepest secrets. By default, privacy settings are often set to “public.” Encourage your child to change this to “private” or discover together how to do this.
  • Social media channels regularly update their options, check them regularly and change them if necessary.
  • Teach your child that there are good and bad secrets. For example, a good secret is a surprise party. A bad secret makes you feel scared, sad, insecure and may make you feel guilty or ashamed. Encourage your child, if he feels this way, to tell a confidant.
  • If your child wants to meet with a stranger, it is best to give them this advice:
    • Inform a person you trust of where you are going, with whom and when you will be back home.
    • Or even better, have someone drop you off who can see the person or take someone with you.
    • Meet during the day in a public, busy place. Refuse to meet at your or your interlocutor's home.
    • Be sure to take your cell phone with you.
  • Teach your child not to just turn on the webcam.

Find more information about the work of the Belgian Safer Internet Centre, including its awareness raising, helpline, hotline, and youth participation services, or find similar information for other Safer Internet Centres throughout Europe.

Strangers who become friends. This normal experience is happening increasingly online. Child Focus notes that not all strangers online are dangerous and offers guidelines for online contact.
Teenage friends online

The internet and social media are ideal for communicating with others. Young people talk online mostly with persons they also know offline. Of course, you can also meet new people online through games, for example. It is important to note that not all strangers pose a risk to your child. 

Moreover, unpleasant experiences usually take place in an environment of acquaintances. Consequently, the common rule of “no contact with strangers” sends a wrong and unclear signal to children. Meeting new people is nice and important; this is no different for children and youngsters. On the contrary, they often open up to others very easily. As a parent you can certainly stimulate this and at the same time it is good to let children think critically about meetings with strangers, online and offline.

Make your child resilient by paying attention to these points:

  • On public platforms and games, choose a neutral pseudonym as a username. It should not refer to your child's first or family name, age or gender. A sexual username is not a good idea either.
  • Teach your child the 10-minute rule: only add someone online with whom you have already spoken offline for at least 10 minutes.
  • Don't share personal information (phone number, home address, school, age, bank information,...) with a stranger.  
  • Talk to a person you can trust in case of a difficult situation. If your child sometimes finds it difficult to discuss something with you as a parent, refer him to another person he/she can trust (a teacher or an organisation such as Child Focus).
  • Trust your gut feeling: if something seems too good to be true, it usually is. Encourage your child not to ignore this signal and seek help from a person he/she trusts.
  • Adjust privacy settings on every social media channel: this is how you choose what to share and with whom. Make the comparison to offline life. You can share a lot with people you know very well; to strangers, on the other hand, you don't tell your deepest secrets. By default, privacy settings are often set to “public.” Encourage your child to change this to “private” or discover together how to do this.
  • Social media channels regularly update their options, check them regularly and change them if necessary.
  • Teach your child that there are good and bad secrets. For example, a good secret is a surprise party. A bad secret makes you feel scared, sad, insecure and may make you feel guilty or ashamed. Encourage your child, if he feels this way, to tell a confidant.
  • If your child wants to meet with a stranger, it is best to give them this advice:
    • Inform a person you trust of where you are going, with whom and when you will be back home.
    • Or even better, have someone drop you off who can see the person or take someone with you.
    • Meet during the day in a public, busy place. Refuse to meet at your or your interlocutor's home.
    • Be sure to take your cell phone with you.
  • Teach your child not to just turn on the webcam.

Find more information about the work of the Belgian Safer Internet Centre, including its awareness raising, helpline, hotline, and youth participation services, or find similar information for other Safer Internet Centres throughout Europe.