Better Internet for Kids

Sexting can be broadly defined as the use of technology to create and share intimate or sexual photos and videos, either of yourself or of others. It is a behaviour that can occur between young people but also between adults. For young people, the photos and videos created are referred to as ‘youth produced sexual imagery’.

The term ‘sexting’ is used widely by adults and the media, but it is not one that young people themselves would use describe this behaviour. Terms used for this vary from country to country, but it is often referred to as ‘sending nudes’, ‘sexts’ or creating ‘nude selfies’.

There are many different ways in which young people may engage in sexting. The most common is taking nude or partially nude photos of themselves using a camera on their device. For some, it may be taking photos or videos during sexual activity (either alone or with a partner). For other young people, it may involve taking copies of someone else’s sexual photos/videos (such as screenshots, video capture of a screen or saving copies) and sharing it with others.

This content can be shared in a variety of ways, such as through messaging apps, social media posts, posting to websites and backing up to cloud storage.

It is important to recognise that this issue does not involve all children and young people, and sexting behaviour can differ greatly from one instance to the next (as the following sections will explain).

The Insafe network of Safer Internet Centre helplines recorded that nonconsensual intimate image abuse (NCII) was the main reason for contacting the helplines in just over 5% of cases between January to March 2024.

There are a number of different reasons why children and young people may become involved in sexting behaviour. These include:

• Curiosity – A young person may be curious about bodies (theirs or others) or sexual behaviours and want to explore. This could occur during puberty, where an adolescent body undergoes a large number of physical changes.
• Flirtation – For some young people, sharing their nude photo (or asking other young people to share theirs) might be a form of flirtation and a way of expressing an interest in someone.
• Part of a relationship – For young people involved in a relationship, some may see taking and sharing intimate images of themselves with their partner as part of sexual enjoyment or to display intimacy and trust. Both partners may give consent and be willing to do this for each other.
• Peer pressure – Unlike the above, there are situations where young people may feel pressured into taking and sending intimate content by a partner, or dared into this behaviour by a group.
• Coercion or manipulation – Young people may find themselves in situations online where someone manipulates them into taking and sending intimate content. This could be through grooming, blackmail or threats.
• Bullying, sexual harassment or revenge – Sharing a young person’s sexual images without their consent could be used as a bullying tactic or as revenge by a former partner.
• Vulnerability – A young person who has been sexually abused offline or involved in inappropriate sexual behaviour for their age may share their sexual content without understanding the risks.
• Financial gain – Although sites such as OnlyFans are for adults (18+) only, there have been reports of young people creating accounts on such services to post their own sexual content to gain attention, gifts and financial payment from users.
• Unaware of potential consequences – For younger children, they may see sexting as a funny thing to do and may be naive to the potential consequences of taking and sharing these types of images and videos.

Your country has laws around the creation, possession and distribution of child sexual abuse material (CSAM). These laws were created to protect children from child sexual abusers and paedophiles who exploit and harm children to create and obtain these types of sexual images and videos.

Sexting by children and young people also falls under these laws. For any child or young person at or above the age of criminal responsibility in their country, this makes them the perpetrators of a crime, while at the same time also the victim of their crime (if they are the child depicted in the content)! This can be a confusing concept for young people, and the law is not usually something most consider before engaging in sexting behaviour.

While this behaviour by young people constitutes criminal activity, law enforcement in your country may approach this issue from a position of protecting or safeguarding youth, rather than criminalising them. 

Context is key – consensual sharing of nude photos between two young people in a relationship could be handled by law enforcement in a very different way to a young person who is maliciously sharing sexual videos of a former partner in order to upset or harass them or damage their reputation. The age of the young people involved may also play a key role – a 16-year-old sexting with an 11-year-old would be treated differently to two 16-year-olds sexting, which would be also be handled differently to two 11-year-olds sexting.

While the laws related to the intimate content are a key issue, there are other consequences that can affect the safety and wellbeing of young people.

Other consequences that impact young people include:

• Wider sharing– A young person may share their sexual content with someone online, who goes on to share it widely with their friends and other people, resulting in many copies of the content being shared and posted online.
• Damage to relationships – If a young person shares their sexual image with someone who then goes on to share it with others, their trust has been betrayed and this could have a negative impact on their relationship..
• Emotional and psychological wellbeing – Knowing your intimate image has been shared and viewed by many people online can be very upsetting to a young person. Loss of control over the situation can affect their wellbeing, from loss of confidence through to psychological issues such as negative body-image, depression and (in rare cases) acts of self-harm.
• Reputational damage – Comments from others (both online and offline) can lead to gossip, rumours and allegations that may be untrue. All of this can greatly affect a young person’s reputation as well as their well-being.
• Risk of exploitation – If a young person’s sexual content falls into the wrong hands, someone might use it to exploit or blackmail that young person. This could be to obtain more sexual content or to force the young person to pay money to stop the content being shared further. Content could also be obtained through hacking accounts and stealing content, or capturing images/video of a young person without their knowledge.
• Hosting alongside other illegal content – The INHOPE Annual Report 2023 describes a continuing trend in reports to the INHOPE hotlines of CSAM material that appeared to have been self-generated (taken and transmitted by under 18s). Sexting is one way in which self-generated material is created. This content was found on websites, hosting services and forums alongside other types of CSAM. A nude selfie sent by one young person to another may not stay private; if shared, it could end up on sites and services used by child sexual abusers.

The answer to this question is yes, and no.

Fundamentally, if two individuals are adults (aged 18 or above), then the intimate content they may create is likely to be legal – it depicts adults, not children. However, extreme depictions may break other laws depending on the country they reside in.

Despite this, many of the motivations and consequences already covered apply to adults in the same way as they apply to young people.

While sexting involving youth is covered under a country’s laws around child sexual abuse material, there may be other laws in your country that relate to non-consensual intimate image abuse (NCII) or sextortion (where an adult shares or distributes another adult’s intimate content with the intention of harassing, causing upset or damaging their reputation. In these instances, sharing another adult’s intimate content may be illegal and can be reported to local law enforcement.

If you are concerned that your child is engaging in sexting behaviour, or that their intimate content has been shared online, then it is important to consider the following:

• Be open and supportive – If your child tells you about this, they are looking for your compassion and support. This is a difficult issue for young people to tell a trusted adult about, so don’t dismiss the issue and do your best to support your child.
• Try not to judge – It can be tempting to tell your child that they made a mistake or broke the law, but they are probably already aware of this! Approach any discussions calmly and make it clear that your intention is to help rather than to tell them off – they may already feel upset enough by events as it is.
• Seek help – Your child’s school have processes for protecting children. Although difficult, you can talk to the school for help and support. They may refer you to experts or organisations that can provide assistance. You can also contact your country’s Safer Internet Centre helpline for further guidance and advice. If you have concerns that your child has been exploited or groomed, then you can also report this to local law enforcement.
• Take prompt action – Moving quickly once you become aware of an issue can help prevent the spread of share intimate content, and provide the right support for your child.

A proactive approach to helping your child understand the risks around sexting can prevent issues before they occur. Things to discuss and consider include:

• The law – Helping your child to be familiar with the law(s) in your country around child sexual abuse material and intimate image abuse is important. These laws are there to protect youth (even though they may break these laws by sexting) and a greater awareness can help them understand what is acceptable or not acceptable to do online and through technology.
• Talk about healthy relationships – Many sexting issues arise from situations where things go wrong in relationships. Talking openly with your child about consent, peer pressure, harassment and trust in relationships can help them recognise risk factors that might lead to a sexing situation.
• Talk about sex – It’s one of the most difficult conversations for parents to have with their children, but talking about sexting as part of sexual behaviour is really important! If you’re not sure how to start a conversation in this area, you might be able to find a storyline in a film or TV show that you can use as an example to discuss with your child.
• Set discussions at the right level – For younger children, a detailed conversation about the law and consequences of sexting is going to be too complicated, and possibly scary. Focusing on bodies and knowing which parts of their body are private (and why) can help your child recognise if someone online asks them to show or do something inappropriate.
• Explore strategies – Helping your child to understand how to ask for, receive and decline to give consent is important – not just for sexting issues but for many other situations where they may feel pressured to do something. Some strategies might work better in some contexts than others. Exploring through role-play and ‘What if…?’ scenarios can help your child develop strategies that work for them.
• Discuss the consequences –Helping your child recognise the impact that intimate content sharing can have on their wellbeing, relationships and reputation can help them make informed decisions when it comes to their bodies and the images/videos they might create. Again, use of news stories or plots from films/TV shows showing possible consequences can make this easier to discuss.
• Empower your child to get help and support – It is vital that your child know what they can do (and who they can turn to) if they are worried about the issues that can arise from sexting. Explore the reporting tools on the games and apps they use so they know how to report sexual content (either their own or that of others). For younger children, a useful strategy is agreeing words or phrases they can say to a trusted adult to alert them that they need help. You can learn more about this approach in the training module ‘How can I talk to my child about online safety?’.

How could you say ‘no’ to someone pressuring you for a sexual photo or video? 

This is an issue that your child might face online. Depending on the situation, they might feel confident to say ‘no’ directly and forcefully, or they might choose to ignore the requests in the hope they go away. They might even feel pressured enough to eventually give in.

Imagine you were being pressured by someone online to do something they don’t want to do. How could you respond in a way that would protect you but make it clear that your answer is ‘no’?

Would you use a message or particular words/phrase? Would you respond in a more visual way – by sending back a specific image, GIF, emoji or meme? Would you use humour or sarcasm as a way to make your point?

Make a list of, draw, or collect the different ways in which you might respond. 

Once you’ve come up with your own strategies, ask your child to do the same. You could compare your responses and help them to choose the ones that would work best for them.