Better Internet for Kids

Violence against women and girls – whether physical or online – is a serious human rights violation. A recent statement published by the European Commission on the International Women’s Day 2021 underlines that one in three women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence. Gender-based violence (GBV) can include sexual, physical, mental, and economic harm inflicted in public or in private. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that one in ten women have experienced some form of cyber violence since the age of 15.

With concerns around hate speech and misogyny increasing on some online platforms, it is important to understand the nature of gender-based violence and how you can support your child to discuss and tackle it, as well as seek support for them if they are affected by these toxic and harmful behaviours. This module will provide an introduction to this topic, with some links to further information you may wish to explore.

Before working through this learning module, take a few moments to consider your current understanding of gender-based violence online by considering the following questions:

• What does the term ‘gender-based violence’ mean to you?
• What behaviours does it include?
• Who commits this type of violence online, and who are the targets?
• What is the impact of these behaviours?

As part of the menABLE project, co-funded by the European Commission, a short definition of gender-based violence (GBV) online was created:

Gender-based violence (GBV) online is a type of GBV that happens through technology and the Internet. People or groups use digital communication to harm others based on their gender or other characteristics, such as sexual orientation, appearance etc.
GBV mostly affects females, transgender, and gender non-conforming people, and to some extent, men and boys. This online harm can take many different forms, can connect with other discriminations, and can affect many aspects of the victim's life.

As you can see, the definition is quite broad and aims to include a wide range of possible behaviours and impacts. Concepts such as ‘gender’ and ‘violence’ are complex and will not be explored in-depth in this learning module, but the links towards the end provide further opportunities to learn about these in greater detail.

Online violence (sometimes referred to as cyber-violence) refers to aggressive and harmful behaviour perpetrated via digital technologies. Among the common forms, there are:

• Cyberstalking: Repeated harassment through threatening or insulting messages.
• Online sexual harassment: Unsolicited sexual advances, sending explicit content, manipulating photos and videos to appear more sexual.
• Doxing: Publication of personal data without consent in order to cause harm.
• Trolling: Intentional provocation to disrupt discussions.
• Intimate image abuse: Sharing intimate content without consent.
• Online stalking: Excessive surveillance and stalking via digital technologies.
• Online hate speech: insulting publications, hurtful comments, hateful remarks on social networks, etc.

These forms of violence can have serious consequences for the mental health and well-being of those targeted but also others who are involved.

When considering GBV online, there are a number of causes that can trigger this form of violence against individuals and groups. These can include:

• Gender norms and structural inequalities: Rigid and unequal gender roles in society contribute to GBV. In societies where men hold the dominant power, violence against women and gender minorities becomes more likely.
• Discrimination and sexism: Sexist attitudes and discrimination against women and gender diverse people create an environment where violence is tolerated or minimised.
• Power imbalances: Unequal power relations, both between people and between people and institutions, allow domination and control, often through violence.
• Education and socialisation: Socialising children with ideals of toxic masculinity and female submission encourages violent and controlling behaviour.
• Economic factors: Women's economic dependence, poverty and lack of access to economic resources increase their vulnerability to violence. Economic constraints can limit options for women to leave abusive relationships.
• Conflicts and humanitarian crises: Situations of war, conflict and humanitarian crisis increase vulnerability and create conditions of chaos and degraded law where GBV can occur more frequently.

When considering the risk factors, these can be grouped into four settings:

• Individual factors: These include exposure to violence (such as the abused becoming abusers), mental health concerns, substance abuse problems, mental health disorders, level of education, and other factors that may increase vulnerability.
• Relationship factors: The nature of a relationship, such as the power dynamics and the behaviours and personality of those involved. Economic and social pressures also play a role, and social isolation can increase the likelihood of violence.
• Community factors: Whether a community tolerates, accepts or even justifies violence against women and girls. The level of (or absence of) community support and resources for victims.
• Societal factors: The presence of weak legal systems, inadequate or poorly enforced laws and impunity for perpetrators can all encourage GBV. Negative or reductive portrayals of women and gender minorities in the media can normalise stereotypes and GBV.

Those who commit gender-based violence against others online can come from a broad cross-section of people, but the majority of perpetrators of GBV are men, largely due to the power dynamics and gender norms in many societies that perpetuate gender inequality. It is important to recognise that women can also be perpetrators of gender-based violence. Perpetrators tend to fall into one of the following categories:

• Isolated individuals (cyberstalkers): These perpetrators may be individuals who harass, threaten or abuse people online anonymously or under their real identity. They may use social networks, forums, messaging platforms or other communication methods to target their victims.
• Intimate partners or ex-partners: Online violence can also be perpetrated by intimate partners or ex-partners. This can include non-consensual sharing of intimate images, cyberstalking and online surveillance (also considered stalking).
• Organised groups (trolls and harassment groups): Some online abusers operate in organised groups, often referred to as ‘trolls’. These groups may target specific individuals, often women, LGBTQ+ people, or activists, orchestrating coordinated harassment campaigns.
• Members of online communities: Sometimes perpetrators of online violence are part of specific communities that encourage or normalise abusive behaviour. These communities may be forums, newsgroups, or found on social networks where toxic and misogynistic norms are shared.
• Hackers and cybercriminals: Hackers may target individuals using hacking techniques to obtain personal or intimate information, which is then used to extort or harass the victim. Cybercriminals may also spread false information or run defamation campaigns.
• Colleagues and acquaintances: In some cases, the perpetrators of online violence may be work colleagues, classmates or other acquaintances who use online platforms to harass or abuse their victims.

It is also important to recognise that all of the above groups do not exclusively contain adults; young people can also be perpetrators, in the same way that they can be victims of GBV online. 

When it comes to the motivations behind the perpetration, it is important to recognise the following:

• To establish a balance of power: The imbalance of power between the sexes is one of the main motivations. Violence is often used as a means of maintaining or exercising control and domination over another person.
• To have a laugh with their peers: Positioning their actions as banter or jokey, despite the harm it causes to others.
• To secure one's place in a group or community and gain recognition and/or popularity: For example, students in an exhibition group on Telegram doxing a target, or the behaviour of certain influencers to attract followers.
• To intentionally humiliate and hurt one or more people, or to take revenge on one person.

Gender-based violence online has the potential for concrete consequences on victims. The psychological and emotional consequences of gender-based violence can be profound and long-lasting for the victims and are the same whether the violence occurs offline or online.

Common consequences can include:

• Anxiety disorders: Constant fear, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder.
• Depression: Feelings of intense sadness, hopelessness, loss of interest in daily activities.
• Sleep disorders: Insomnia, recurrent nightmares.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Flashbacks, hypervigilance, avoidance of situations reminiscent of the trauma.
• Low self-esteem: Feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness.
• Relationship problems: Difficulty trusting others, social isolation.
• Substance abuse: Use of drugs or alcohol to cope with painful emotions.

However, the impact is not limited to those who are directly targeted; witnesses of GBV can also be affected in a number of ways:

• Anxiety and depression: Exposure to violence can lead to high levels of anxiety, depression and hypervigilance. Witnesses may feel powerless and distressed at their inability to help the victim.
• Feelings of guilt: Witnesses may feel guilty for not having been able to intervene or help the victim. This guilt can be intensified if the violence has serious consequences for the victim.
• Normalisation of violence: Witnessing gender-based violence can lead to a normalisation of these behaviours, especially among children and young people. They may come to see violence as a normal part of relationships.
• Repercussions on social relationships: Witnesses may find it difficult to trust others and establish healthy relationships. Distrust and fear may impair their ability to interact positively with others.
• Altered family and friendship dynamics: In families where violence is present, bystanders, often children, may be forced to take on roles that are inappropriate for their age, such as mediator or protector. This can disrupt normal development and cause additional family tensions.
• Intergenerational reproduction of violence: Children who grow up witnessing violence are more likely to reproduce these behaviours in adulthood, either by becoming aggressors themselves or by being more likely to enter violent relationships.

As you may already be aware, gender-based violence is a serious and complex issue. It is important to take care in your approach to discussing it with your child. You know your child best, and should always consider their age, maturity and experiences when discussing sensitive topics.

If your child is younger (under the age of 12), then talking specifically about GBV behaviours may not be appropriate. However, you can cover some aspects of the behaviours and impacts through discussing topics such as cyberbullying, respectful communication, healthy relationships and broad discussions about gender (what do they think it means to be ‘male’, ‘female’ or ‘non-binary’?). You may find the learning module ‘How can I talk to my child about online safety?’ useful to help you have these discussions. 

If your child is older, such as a teenager, then it is important to create the right environment before diving in to discuss these issues. 

The following approaches are also important to consider:

• Use of language: Take care when using language to describe body parts, sexual activities and gender. It is advised to use scientific names for body parts and sexual activities, in order to provide a common vocabulary and reduce confusion. Try to use gender-neutral terms where possible (e.g. ‘partner’ instead of ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’).
• Create safe spaces: Developing a safe space can empower your child to open up and discuss sensitive issues without fear of judgment or ridicule. Building trust and showing active listening and open communication are important to help your child feel more comfortable in discussing issues.
• A good mentoring attitude: It is important to reflect on your own characteristics and behaviours. Showing empathy, active listening, providing clear information, providing encouragement and considering your non-verbal communication are all key to supporting your child.
• Model healthy behaviour: Always act as a role model by using respectful and inclusive language and behaviour. Show what healthy and respectful interactions look like, including ways to resolve conflict peacefully.
• Discuss strategies: The best way to empower your child is help them develop strategies to deal with tricky situations online, whether these involve them directly or not. Ensuring your child knows how to use safety tools such as reporting and blocking buttons is important, as is knowing how to ask for support or offer support to those in need. Understanding how to capture evidence of abusive behaviour is also important, so that those they turn to for help can assist them more easily.

This learning module has only scratched the surface of the nature of GBV and the ways in which to approach discussions with your child.

If you are interested in learning more, it is highly recommended that you take time to explore the following resources, which will equip you with the necessary knowledge, skills and confidence to tackle this sensitive topic. 

Please note that these resources have been developed for teachers and educators, but are freely available for you to use and explore as a parent or caregiver:

• Ctrl+Alt+GBV educational toolbox: Created as part of the menABLE project, this is a visual educational resource on gender-based violence online, aimed at young people aged 13-18. The material aims to address and facilitate discussions on gender and gender identity, encourage reflection, and provide concrete guidelines for action. The Toolbox includes a mixture of online and offline materials and a teacher’s guide to using them. The Toolbox is available in English, Danish, Dutch, French and Greek.
• Tackling gender-based violence online: This Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) was created as part of the menABLE project. It ran from October-November 2024. Enrolment on the course is free and you can work through the self-directed modules at your own pace. The course offers an in-depth look at the nature of GBV online, and Module 3 of the course provides opportunities to explore and practice using the Ctrl+Alt+GBV Educational Toolbox.
• menABLE Study on GBV: ‘Beyond words: Understanding and responding to gender-based violence online’ provides opportunity to fully understand the nature of GBV online and related issues, as well as gain insight into the view from experts, youth and educators around the challenges and opportunities related to education in this area.

As with any online issue that affects your child, it is crucial that you know where you can seek support for them. The following sources of support are important to be aware of:

• Your child’s school: Knowing who to contact in your child’s school is important to ensure that you receive appropriate advice and support.
• 116 111 helplines: As part of the Better Internet for Kids+ strategy, the 116 111 number in every EU member state is being positioned to handle contact from youth, parents/carers or professionals to provide support and assistance in tackling cyberbullying issues. These helplines also act as more general child helplines and this list provides contact details for each service.
• Insafe network of Safer Internet Centres: Each Safer Internet Centre operates a helpline that provides information, advice and assistance to children, youth and parents on how to deal with harmful content, harmful contact (such as grooming) and harmful conduct such as (cyberbullying or sexting).
• INHOPE network: If you have concerns about illegal online content, particularly Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) then this should be reported to your national Safer Internet Centre hotline; a member of the INHOPE network. Reports can be made anonymously.
• Local/national support services: Your school may have access to additional support services provided locally or nationally and can provide further details as required.