A webinar was organised in Bucharest by Save the Children Romania through the Romanian Safer Internet Centre with the title “How to talk to children about the hidden risks on the internet?”. The 1-hour event was part of the series of educational activities called Responsible parents in the digital age. Other topics in the series include: cyberbullying, fake news, social media tips and how to  better connect with your children.  

It is impossible for parents and carers to be constantly monitoring children and young people during their online activities, and even parental control tools cannot guarantee complete online safety. Thus, the best strategies are improving digital education and literacy, and to keep an open communication with young people, because preventing unpleasant situations from occurring is much simpler than counteracting them. 

My child has been exposed to inappropriate content online 

During the pandemic, children have spent increasing amounts of time on their digital devices, especially as a result of distance learning. Pupils these days have to constantly navigate between different search engines, social networks and applications on a daily basis, which notably increases the risk of coming across inappropriate content, including  extreme violence and pornography, which can affect the physical and mental development of the child. 

Mihaela Dinu and Cristian China Birta provide suggestions for parents and carers: 

• Exposure to potentially harmful content may result in sleep, eating and general behavioural disorders. Ask the child to show you what they saw and ask them how they reacted and what they felt in those moments – this will help you assess the impact. If the symptoms continue after a few weeks, call a specialist.  Do not over-protect children and young people. Let them experience different types of content to learn and choose what suits them best.  
• Do not monitor your child without them being aware of it. When they will find out, your relationship with them will be impacted by this seemingly lack of trust.
• Do not pre-emptively criticise or reject the content that your children love, even if you personally tend to dislike them. Allow your children to show you how certain sites or applications work. 
• When your child shows you some inappropriate content he has been exposed to, do not get angry. Exaggerated reactions from parents and carers result in children not wanting to come back to the parent and carer in the future, should a similar situation occur.  
• Once your child tells you what kind of content they often looks for online, you can try to provide them with other options for similar, but safer, or more trustworthy content. 

My child has disclosed personal information on social networks

43 per cent of children and young people admit that they post personal information such as photos, home addresses, frequently visited locations and more on social media. Mihaela Dinu suggests the following to tackle the situation:

• The child needs to be educated and develop an understanding of what personal data is and the impact that posting sensitive data online can have in the long run.  
• Parents and carers should set an example and refrain from posting personal details as much as possible.

My child has online friends who seem suspicious 

Children and young people tend to easily accept online connection requests from unknown users whose profile pictures could suggest that they are peers, whereas they could actually be anyone. Here are some recommendations from Mihaela Dinu and Cristian China Birta for parents and carers: 

• When your child makes a mistake or is not careful enough with online friends, refrain from punishing them with restrictions on internet access and usage.
• Encourage your children to ask for a video call with their new online friends to validate their identity.
• Make it a habit to ask your child what games, videos, new content they discovered online that day, including the details. That helps building trust, for the day when the child will be exposed to something unpleasant online. On that day, you will want to be the first person to find out.

 My child has received inappropriate messages

Two out of ten children see or receive sexual messages daily or at least once a week (girls more often than boys). The senders first create an emotional connection with the child, then request intimate images, then they could resort to threats and blackmailing, and in few severe cases to sexual abuse. This illegal behaviour is called grooming. 

"Predators are professionals – they can get information on how to seduce children and young people on the dark web. The child who has a good relationship with their parents or carers will be able to detect the danger early on, will not be fooled and will tell a trusted adult what is happening" Cristian China Birta. 

"Young people need to be educated about privacy matters, either from their parents or from health education classes held in school. They should focus on the question: do I have control over my body exposure or can my image be used anywhere on the internet in a harmful way?” Mihaela Dinu, psychologist.

According to Mihaela Dinu, as a parent or a carer, you can ”validate the child's emotions and need for validation as often as possible, otherwise children might be more inclined to believe whatever a stranger might tell them, out of the desire to socialise. Introverts seem to be much easier to groom”.

If you come across  a serious crime, for example sensitive images circulating on the internet without the person’s consent, call the competent authorities or the hotline esc_ABUZ if you are in Romania. 

Find out more about the work of the Romanian Safer Internet Centre, including its awareness raising, helpline, hotline and youth participation services – or find similar information for Safer Internet Centres throughout Europe.